I’m going to start with the dreaded comment starting “when I was in college, we didn’t have…” (insert teenager eye-roll here). But, all of us at Have U Heard can say that we did not have computers, iPads, or cell phones to help us bank, and somehow, we managed to survive. I did have a checking account where I had to actually write checks, and a credit card for emergencies. Everything regarding money took longer, and I know I did not budget correctly. I made financial mistakes for sure, but when I got a part-time job, I seemed to manage it better. I guess if it was MY money, then I took better care of it, sadly.

So, when we attended orientation with our daughter, we were inundated with information from FAFSA to meal plans, but no one addressed the best way to handle finances, or how to learn to budget for our student. We did what a lot of parents do, and that is, asked around. I talked to some friends with college kids and got their ideas, and I also went to a couple of parenting Facebook pages that I belong to and looked up the subject of budgeting. There is so much information out there, that it can be overwhelming.

Firstly, have a conversation with your family and decide: will they need to work while in school, can they prioritize and keep their grades up while managing their time efficiently, will they be on the meal plan or will they need to do weekly shopping?

One of our family rules was that we will not pay for alcohol. I am not being naïve, and I won’t pretend that kids don’t go out and drink, but I don’t have to pay for it either. Books and school supplies were to go on a credit card tied to our accounts (and a great way for us to earn points) and for emergencies. Since our daughter was not on a meal plan, we did two things: we put money on her Publix parent card weekly for groceries (see our blog on grocery stores). It was approximately $75. We also put around $125 cash on her Bull Buck$ card which can be used at campus dining halls, restaurants, and cafes on campus. We made sure she also had some cash weekly. How did we come up with these numbers? Well, after polling friends and getting advice online, these amounts were in the middle of the census.  If she chose to go out and spend money on getting her nails done, or for sushi, using up her allowance, then peanut butter and jelly would help to balance her budget. The point was for her to see where her money was going and to make good decisions about it.

*Please note: if your child is in a sorority or fraternity, they will be asking you for more money. Most things are covered in their dues, but it seemed like my daughter always needed money for something additional (big/little gifts, yet more t-shirts, unofficial sister get-togethers, etc.). So, get ready!

Another way to save some money is to mention to your students to take a look around campus for free activities.  Many clubs and organizations have events around campus and will offer free snacks. Even food trucks will sometimes have free items. Students should always keep their eyes open for student discounts. For instance, Chipotle gives a 15% discount with ID, and AMC Theaters gives a 10% discount on Thursday nights with student ID and many more. List of great discounts for USF students. And check out our blog on budget eating places. They can also download apps that will help them to budget and also offer discounts. See our blog on the Best Apps for students.

Make sure your student also checks the Bull2Bull program run by the university to offer financial literacy education services to students.  They are located in the Student Services (SVC) building. Consider having your students get their own credit cards. It is a great way for them to start learning how to budget themselves while building their credit for when they are out on their own. Our credit card recommendations. Nothing is set in stone. It all depends on your family’s personal choices and financial decisions. Perhaps your student has a job while at school and won’t ask you for a thing. Maybe they want the assurances of always having meals on campus, and will want to be on a meal plan. Things can be changed if they are not working.

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So, your college student has been away and you and your family are getting used to your new normal.  Even though your student is busy with notes, lectures, getting enough sleep, finding their “tribe”, doing their own laundry (hopefully), and figuring out how to be an adult, they may still be missing home.  They quickly realize that they are on their own to be successful in college, and that can bring on the feeling of homesickness.

I found that a great way to interrupt the stress of college is to send my daughter a care package.  And let’s face it, sending something to our kids helps us to still feel connected to them. Now, please know that I am no Martha Stewart, so I was not looking to spend a small fortune or to get the “best package” award, but I wanted to send something.

Where to start? A great parting gift that you can leave in their room or send as a package is this package of Open When College Pack envelopes. We suggest filling them with either a message, picture, or gift cards purchased in advance but we love the messages. When you take your first big test, when you’re sick, when you’re tired of dorm food, and more. Pinterest also has tons of ideas that are really great.  You don’t have to tackle Michaels and handmake every little thing.  You just need to know your kid. Some things to think about are: what have they mentioned lately, did they get into a sorority/fraternity, is their birthday coming up, what holiday is coming, or when are their midterms or exams?

My favorite way to send a care package is the post office’s Priority Mail flat rate boxes.  I used these many times because you can fill them to the brim for one flat rate, no matter the weight.  I like the Small Flat Rate Box which is $7.15 or the Medium Flat Rate Box which is $13.60 out the door. Of course, you can use any box to ship things in, but I really like the convenience of one price for priority shipping. If using UPS and shipping in the state, Ground typically gets it to its destination in one day. If you are using UPS, a great convenience is taking your packages to CVS since they now have UPS Access Points.

What to Send

I don’t care who you are; we all like to be surprised by knowing that someone we love is thinking about us.  I found that my daughter loved the little things: socks, new pens, chapstick, a new t-shirt, candy, protein bars, magnets, her school paraphernalia, holiday decorations, and pictures of her dog.  They probably won’t admit it, but a surprise package from home can really make their week.

Dollar Tree is a great place for small trinkets and seasonal items and decorations.  My younger daughter also had fun finding silly things to put in the package. We all know that Target has great items, the “dollar section” has great things like small photo frames, tech items, etc. that are inexpensive.  These stores are where I usually found my care package items, but you can find things anywhere.

If you are so inclined, think about buying 2, 3 or 4 of the same items and then you will be the rock-star mom who is also sending love to the roommates/suitemates.  Before the holiday break, I sent my daughter a box that had 4 mugs (carefully wrapped), hot chocolate packs, and little bags of mini marshmallows. Her suitemates loved it and they planned a movie night before they left for the holidays, and even sent me a picture of them holding their mugs.

HELP!

If you need someone else to put together and send a care package for you, there are lots of sites out there, many that cater to USF students. OCM or Our Campus Market offers premade boxes filled with goodies.  They run from about $25 to around $65. GourmetGiftBaskets.com works with USF and has premade baskets that are very nice as well.  They have lots of choices like a Homesick package that is $39.99 to a Graduation box that is about $80. These can be pricey, so that is why I stuck to the postal flat rate boxes.  Again, I would check out Pinterest for company ideas and even Amazon. We also like Tetherbox for care packages.

For those of you that wish to send soup to your sick kid, the USF Hillel will deliver soup to their dorm or apartment.  They have a Matzah Ball Soup Hotline and students or parents can call it to set up a delivery. They can be reached at 813-899-2788.

Known as “The booty-call of food delivery services” (yes, that’s the company slogan) ZBaked will deliver warm cookies to your student at USF.  I am told that these are “the best ever”, and are a great surprise for birthdays or the week of finals. I haven’t personally used GrubHub, but there are many restaurants that deliver to USF listed on their site, including Mrs. Fields Cookies.

Fandango gift card is a nice option as well. It’s not food, but it is perfect for vegging out.

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Going back to 1978 with the release of “Animal House”, which became one of the most successful comedies of all time, to 2014 with the release of “Neighbors”, fraternities have been portrayed as groups of Neanderthals that do nothing but party, drink alcohol and abuse drugs. Fraternities have been called out on national television for purported participation in horrific activities. Certainly, if a fraternity house is engaging in behavior that crosses the line, they should, and will, end up either on suspension or maybe even kicked off-campus. You will find that several colleges across the country have suspended all Greek life due to hazing and the death of several fraternity members. It is horrifying as a parent to lose a child under these circumstances and colleges are taking a strong stance, as they should on rushing and frats. But talk with many of the young men in fraternities at USF, and they will speak of brotherhood, a lifetime of friendships and access to leadership positions on campus. USF has 16 chapters in its Interfraternity Council.

For parents of incoming freshmen, you have probably started to hear about rushing a fraternity. The way rushing is handled for fraternities is radically different than sororities, but I am glad to give you the parent perspective on both (check out our blog on Sororities). Either way, you will not find too many who love the rushing process.  Like it or not, Greek life does have its advantages, especially at a large college; and kids are probably not going to forgo the rumors about rushing if it means not joining.

USF fraternities pride themselves on promoting Scholarship, Brotherhood, and Leadership. Fraternity rush is somewhat disorganized and a bit chaotic. The more official rush is usually the second or third week of school when many of the chapters will host official orientations and open houses at the house or other various locations. It is a 12-day process. At that time, boys go from house to house, where they are greeted by brothers who will “interview” them. They can spend practically a whole evening, if they choose, at one house and never get to others.

You May Leave…

They can get asked to leave (yes, asked to leave, as in, “We don’t think you will fit in here. You can leave now”) regardless of how much time they have invested getting to know some of the other brothers. They do not have to go to each of the 17 chapters; they go to the ones they want to. This can lead to boys putting a great deal of time and energy into specific houses that they may get their hearts set on and may or may not get a bid for. In the end, this could mean not getting a frat at all; particularly if they didn’t make the rounds, per se. Try to encourage your son to broaden his horizons and check out all the frats, not just the ones deemed popular, touting a reputation they would like to be associated with and/or cool Greek letters. He may be pleasantly surprised by some of the smaller houses. Try to stay in touch with your son as his support system; should he need it. The rejection is real.

Most boys do find their fraternity; others may not get accepted to the frat of their choice, but there is a second rushing opportunity in the spring. There are many alternatives to the social life fraternities provide as well. To help smooth out the feelings of rejection, particularly if some of his friends got asked back, remind him of the many other houses or diverse clubs and activities outside of Greek life.

The Village

Fraternity houses at USF are located in what is called Greek Village. There are three frats in the village and the others have “houses” off-campus.  Some are aesthetically nicer than others but do not try to compare any of them to the sorority houses. (Insert image of Animal House here.) Yet, as recruitment begins most boys will already know which frats are considered the most popular and which preconceived labels go with each. That is exactly what can make this a difficult process because just like in the real world, rumors are not fact. If you have any influence at all, encourage your sons to look beyond the Greek letters (all houses have a combination of them) and have an open mind. Hopefully, your son will be able to move beyond the labels and focus more on finding like-minded young men and a place where he will fit in. He may also want to consider the fraternities’ national standing. This can come in rather handy later when looking to network and find a job in the world beyond college even in another city.
Here is a little about how it works.  Let’s say your son gets a bid from the house he wants. A bid is basically an invitation to join their fraternity. They then have three options to either 1.) Accept the bid and rush is over for him or 2.) Sit on the bid, the most common choice during rush week, as it allows him to continue to visit other frats and maybe even collect more bids. In the end, he can only accept one of the bids or 3.) Decline a bid and continue the hunt.  And then the fun really begins; pledging.

New Members

Once a bid has been accepted your student becomes a new member. And, hazing is not accepted at all and most fraternities are under scrutiny across campuses nationwide. What is more likely is that your son will spend the next few weeks doing inane things like writing love letters to the frat sweetheart in alphabet soup letters, washing brother’s cars or doing their dishes, standing outside a sorority house and singing to the girls, writing and performing a short play, playing basketball in a suit and tie, being on call as the sober driver for brothers, and so on.

So far, I haven’t a sugar-coated rush, so I won’t start now. Rush is based on first impressions, judgments, and appearances; certainly, in the first few rounds. This being said, mention to your son to be sure his social media is looking good. Don’t think they won’t check. The Interfraternity Council tries to promote the positive aspects of joining a fraternity and takes it very seriously.  They try to oversee that regulations are upheld, but they can only have eyes in so many places.

At this point, you may be thinking why would I want my son to subject himself to going through this process? Personally speaking, while fraternity life may not be for everyone, they do offer a lot of benefits including being extremely visible and active on campus, involvement in philanthropies and they make the massive size of USF seem a little smaller.  Fraternity brothers partake in rituals that are unique to their letters, nationally and internationally, promoting brotherhood. Frats provide leadership opportunities as they are student-run organizations. Fraternities also teach our young men great interviewing skills as they are often asked off-the-wall questions that promote thinking on their feet. It teaches them a great deal about social interactions and hopefully about being a gentleman as they will always be representing their letters.

If I am speaking Greek, let’s address some of the particulars. Dues range from about $500-$1,500 per semester. Some activities will cost extra; like formals which usually take them out of town and can be as much as $300-$500 for the weekend. All in all, if you (and he) can get through rushing/pledging, brotherhood is a beautiful thing.

Learn the facts about Recruitment.

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Being the oldest sibling in my family, going into college I had no idea what to expect. Of course, my parents had their own advice to give, but as we all know, the time has changed abundantly since our parents were in college. Now, almost halfway done with being an undergraduate student, there are many things I wish I could go back and tell my freshman-self before becoming a proud Bull. Through my trials and tribulations, I have made some unforgettable memories and I hope to save some freshmen from the not-so-fun lessons I had to learn along the way. Here is the advice I would have given to myself:

Your first choice may not always be the best choice: since USF was not originally my first-choice school, I had a tough time having a good mindset on my next four years in the beginning. However, I soon realized USF was just the type of school I needed and now I’m proud to be a bull. 

Join Greek life or some type of organization: although I always knew that I wanted to be involved in Greek life, never in my wildest dreams could I imagine the positive impact it would have in my life. However, since Greek life may not be for everyone, don’t be discouraged, there are so many other great organizations on campus to get involved in to make the most of your college experience. 

Everyone is in the same boat: everyone is trying to adjust to their new life as well. You’re not alone!

Find resources on campus: almost every class you take has office hours, exam reviews, study groups, and tutors. If you’re struggling with a class, get help!

Join a professional organization related to your major: professional organizations can give you amazing networking opportunities while also giving you more experience in your field. Additionally, joining can help you connect with fellow students in the same field. 

Get out of your comfort zone: the greatest memories I had so far have come from experiences where I have done something I never thought I would.

Do not take 8 am classes: I had to learn this the hard way and I can confidently say, they are absolutely nothing like waking up for high school. If you can avoid an 8 am, I would recommend it at all costs. 

It’s okay to not know your major: some students come to college knowing exactly what they want to major, however, the majority of students don’t and it is very common to change your major throughout college. So, if you’re not passionate about your major, don’t be discouraged, talk to your advisor; they’re here to help you.

You do not have to go to every party you’re invited to. Though you may experience some serious FOMO (fear of missing out), rest assured that there will be many more parties to come and sometimes you have to put your health, sleep, and school work first. 

Set the due dates for your assignments as the date before it’s actually due. This is a foolproof way to outsmart the serial procrastinator in all of us. It is always better to have extra time and not rush through important assignments. 

Your planner is your best friend. Pick a planner that aligns with your lifestyle and use it for everything! You can even get a free planner in the student center. 

Go Exploring. Even if USF is close to home, there are so many things Tampa has to offer from the city to the beaches. You can make new memories in old places with the right friends. 

It’s okay to ask for help. No one expects you to have it all together in your early 20’s.

College truly will be all that you make of it, so make it great!!

Lindsay Fine, USF Intern

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At this time in our world, we all worry about the safety of our new adults. For me, a self-proclaimed worrier, I wanted to know everything about the safety of my child’s new home, as well as them learning the ins and outs of campus safety.  Knowing they are safe is a forever thing. Therefore, it may be helpful to know that USF has a few very supportive resources available. The University of South Florida takes safety very seriously.  Technology has changed the landscape of how they impart information to students through texts and emails, and social media platforms.

**Due to these unprecedented times we also wanted to make available to you the following: Parents/students can now email  COVIDquestions@usf.edu for questions USF is offering emergency aid to those who have been impacted by COVID19 through the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act: in order to apply you have to fill out the Federal CARES Act Emergency Financial Aid Application.

And all the time….

The SAFE Team is a group of screened students that can escort anyone from one point to another.  They use golf carts and also walk with students to ensure their safety to their destination.  Their hours are 6:30 pm – 2:30 am seven days a week. Their phone number is 813-974-7233. Make sure your student puts this number in their phone.  We taught our children about the “buddy system” when they were little, but as college students, it can be even more imperative to use.

Alert Cab is a free taxi ride from an alcohol-serving establishment to a residence in Hillsborough County. Students using this service must attend the University of South Florida and be 21+ to use the service. Taxi cabs only hold 4 people.  No one wants our students to drink and drive, or to hop in a car with someone who has been drinking. This service is invaluable to our older students.

The MoBull Messenger is part of the university’s emergency notification system that allows your student to receive text messages informing them of any emergency situation related to campus.  All students, as well as faculty and staff, are encouraged to sign up for the notifications. Students must sign up for the service by logging on to their NetID Account.

All across campus, there are 90 blue emergency lights set on poles.  If a student is feeling uncomfortable, unsafe, or sees a crime being committed, they can pick up the phone located on the pole and a police officer will be at that location within minutes.

There’s also another way that you can enhance personal safety measures. Working like a “pocket blue phone,” Guardian, an initiative implemented by USF’s Division of Public Safety, turns a cell phone into a mobile safety device when subscribers activate a “precautionary timer” as they travel from one area of the campus to another. The timer is set as the individual leaves a location and will alert the University Police if that person does not call to cancel the timer in a specified amount of time.  There is no charge for the Guardian service for USF students, faculty and staff.  It is a voluntary, opt-in program and the location and personal information of a subscriber are only accessible by emergency personnel when contact is initiated by the individual. To sign up for Guardian, simply log on to www.mobull.usf.edu and follow the steps. It takes only minutes to add this safety feature to your cell phone.

The university police department also offers many classes such as self-defense, as well as programs and information helping with relationship violence, alcohol abuse, and sexual violence.

Contacts Galore

I also recommend getting your student’s roommates and/or a close friend’s contact information. There is nothing worse than not being able to find your student; and although it may be as simple as he forgot to charge his phone, she fell asleep at the sorority house or lost her phone under a pile of laundry and is so busy studying she didn’t realize it was gone. (Do not laugh; I have lived through all three.) This being said, remind your student to not walk anywhere alone (particularly at night) or put themselves in dangerous situations. As any campus police will tell you, crime is always based on opportunity so if you remove the opportunity, in most instances, you can exist safely on campus.

I would also make certain you have your student’s Find My Phone login information. They may resist, but perhaps you can make a promise not to abuse its benefits in order to make them less resistant. You can also explain how, should they go missing (see a, b, and c above), a cell phone allows the police or anyone else to track your student’s recent activity. Of course, if the phone is shut down it has no service, but it will give the most recent usage.  I can’t tell you how many times I have heard stories about children who couldn’t be reached for hours at a time, putting the parents into a major tailspin, only to find their son/daughter simply forgot to tell his/her roommate he/she was sleeping somewhere else. Avoid this situation at all costs and remind your kids to always contact someone (roommate, suitemate, BFF) of their whereabouts, especially if they are not going to be sleeping in the room. Sure, sometimes it is not planned, but social media is so prevalent that there are no reasons to not let someone else know their whereabouts.

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USF is huge! With over 37,000 undergraduates across over 1500 acres, it can sometimes be hard to not feel overwhelmed by the size of the school. To make it feel a bit smaller and more personal, one must get involved. Some students will choose to rush a sorority or fraternity (see sorority blog here and fraternity blog here), but others will not find Greek life is their cup of tea. No worries, there are many other possible ways to get involved on campus.

School comes first, obviously, but we at HaveUHeard feel that being involved in some way is equally as important. Remember that your child is still a teenager and will want to find people with the same interests as them. Leaving home, family, and friends can be hard, but feeling a part of a community can make their transition easier. Joining clubs and organizations allows students to discover their passions and strengths, and to make connections for future resumes and employment. Being involved requires time management. For some, staying busy is better than having too much free time. That being said, one must look at their schedule realistically and decide what benefits them in all areas.

Now that we’ve established the benefits of being involved in something other than a happy hour; the question is where he/she finds the right club or organization. Firstly, encourage your child to not settle for the first club they visit. Attend informational meetings or a session or two. They may fall in love or feel the need to keep looking. Go with an open mind and try everything once. My daughter saw an ad for Her Campus and went to a meeting. This online blog for USF women helped her to meet like-minded girls. One of her friends even started writing for the blog.

Here are just a few places where clubs and organizations are located:

• Marshall Student Center (MSC) – Inside the center, you can find the Student Life Tower which houses most of the offices of organizations.
• New Student Connections (NSC) – This office coordinates WOW: Week of Welcome, and the First Fifty Days which hold events and activities for new students.  There is everything from photo ops, mixers, involvement with the Round-Up, Homecoming, Family Weekend, and Movies on the Lawn.
• Student Government is an entity of itself.  Look into it if you want to be a leader at USF.
• The Center for Student Development – They hold educational, social, and cultural events including concerts, and Patio Tuesday, which provide great opportunities to connect with friends.
• Student Organizations – There are over 600 clubs/organizations that include Greek, academic, religious, service, special interest, recreation, and multicultural interests.
• Leadership and Civic Engagement – This office helps coordinate Bulls Service Breaks (trips of service during Spring Break week) and the Dance Marathon which raises money for the Children’s Miracle Network.
• The Oracle – This is a USF student-run newspaper that can be found on campus and around the USF area.
• Intramurals – There are 30 different sports and activities to join, from flag-football, ultimate Frisbee, table tennis, and more.
• Sports Clubs – There are over 40 sports clubs including the traditional sports, but also beach volleyball, cricket, equestrian, fishing, paintball, SCUBA, and even Quidditch.
• Religious Groups – USF has 13 different groups including campus ministries and Chabad and Hillel.

For more information and details. So, encourage your student to get involved in something. They need to “find their tribe” and to find their place at USF.

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Every school has Parents Weekend, and for USF the tradition continues.  This is a great time to see your students in their “natural habitat” on campus.  You will see them in their new independent role and have the chance to meet some of their friends.  There is some debate on whether Parents Weekend is worth the travel and expenses vs. coming on another, less-crowded weekend.  But, I can tell you that we have done both. Parents Weekend is geared towards families and there are some fun things to do.

The weekend is set for October 9 -11, 2020 with registration open on July 6th.  As soon as they do announce it, I advise you to make your hotel reservations immediately, as they book up fast.  Some will offer a slight discount if you reserve far in advance and tell them why you are coming. Our blog on hotels will help with suggestions.

There is a fee for both parents and students to attend Parents Weekend and you must register online.  For adults, it is approximately $30, youth (10 & under) $15, and students $15. The fees cover all events that you may choose from.  You will get a family welcome bag, a Friends & Family Weekend t-shirt, parking on campus, and access to canoeing and kayaking at Riverfront Park.

Football

There is always a football game this weekend, and last year it was a home game that was also during Homecoming Week (see the blog on Homecoming).  Many like to tailgate before the game (at Raymond James Stadium) but know that your student may not be with you. If they are in a sorority or fraternity there will undoubtedly be activities planned with their respective houses.  Sororities may plan a family activity with food to enjoy with your daughter, but fraternities usually lack in the food department. I recommend eating first. If your son is a pledge, it may not be worth the trip because they will be so busy working that weekend.  So, it is a busy time of year.

Going to the game will give you a chance to show off your USF Bulls gear.  Wear it proudly, but remember it will be warm and humid. Check our Football blog for things to bring to the game and what to leave at the hotel.  Buying tickets to the game is easy, but your student’s ticket is free and will be in the student section.

Wondering what to wear? We’ve got suggestions for Bulls attire and clear bags.

In the Spring, USF hosts a Spring Family Day in February.  It is a one-day event held at Riverfront Park with all the amenities available to families.  Check the site for details on the 2019 date and to register.

Where to Eat on the Weekend

Check out our Restaurant blog to see tons of good options.  Remember that USF is down the street from the popular Busch Gardens and Adventure Island.  The closer to school, the more crowded the restaurants tend to be.

What to Do

Perhaps football is not your thing or you want to explore more of Tampa. Click here for some great places to visit while in town. And if you’re looking for an event to attend, click here for some great suggestions.

Even if you aren’t into football, tailgates are always fun. Many frats have great tailgate parties and kids love to show off their fraternities.

Have fun with your BULL!

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