Sorority Low-Down

Why Rush?  For parents of incoming freshmen, you have probably started to hear whispers about rushing or sorority recruitment. The way recruitment is handled for sororities is somewhat different than fraternities, but I am glad to give you the parent perspective on both (check out our blog on USF’s fraternities). Either way, you will not find too many who love the rushing process.  But like it or not, Greek life does have its advantages, especially at a large college; and kids are probably not going to forgo the rumors about rush if it means not joining. So, buckle up; the ride can get a bit bumpy. Let’s start rushing!

My daughter decided to go through rushing recruitment for a couple of reasons. She wanted a way to make friends quickly and to find her “tribe”. Also, we as her parents encouraged her to at least go through the process in order to “put herself out there”. She can be a little shy at times, and we thought that the rush process would help her to open up.  She is our first child to go off to college, so it was all new to us. Having spoken to friends whose daughters rushed I was privy to both the great and nightmarish parts of the process. This is not to say that we should prepare our girls for potential hazing, but rather we were told to prepare for potential disappointment as our daughters may not get the sorority of their choice and may, in turn, be very upset. It’s rare, but it happens. And those late-night phone calls when daughters cry that they were dropped by the houses they thought were perfect for them are undoubtedly heart-wrenching.

My daughter was one of those that did not get a bid from their first choice but accepted a bid from another sorority. She saw the positive in it and took a chance at something new. Most girls do find their place and live happily ever after; others may not get accepted to the sorority of their choice, but they too can have a wonderful Greek life. To help smooth out the feelings of rejection, particularly if some of her friends got asked back, remind your daughter of the many other houses (there are so many; the thing is that some girls would rather have none than the ones that they may receive bids for) or diverse clubs and activities outside of Greek life. There are many alternatives to the social life sororities provide.

In preparation for the experience, first know that girls are kept extremely busy, particularly at the beginning so do not expect to hear much from them until the evenings.  While they can use their phones between houses, there isn’t much time. Some days the girls are clad in ridiculously high heels and sundresses and trying desperately not to allow their make-up to run despite the sauna-like temperatures (got to love Tampa in August). In this regard, your daughter will get a shopping list before the rush to be sure she is appropriately attired. Include a battery-operated fan and Band-Aids on the list and start saving now.

We’ve got some great suggestions from our interns about what to expect and what to wear for recruitment.  At USF, rushing recruitment has specific theme days they follow but as to outfit suggestions, read our blog.

Most going through recruitment already have heard about the different sorority houses at USF and, although there may be the same sorority in another college; somehow their reputations may change at each school. In their minds, they know which ones are considered the most popular and which preconceived labels go with each. That is exactly what makes this a difficult process because just like in the real world, rumors are based on idle chatter, not fact. If you have any influence at all, encourage your daughters to look beyond the Greek letters (all houses have a combination of them) and have an open mind. Hopefully, your daughter will be able to move beyond the process and focus more on finding like-minded young women and a place where she will fit in. I have witnessed girls joining sororities, because of specific Greek letters only to realize after a few weeks, their choice was not right for them. Remind them that each sister is not a clone of the others and they are made up of many different girls.

Cha-Ching!

A major consideration in having your daughter rush is cost. You just can’t get around it, and no one likes to get blindsided by bills that you aren’t prepared for. Rushing, and becoming a sister in a sorority, does add to the sometimes, overwhelming cost of college. Be prepared and budget for it early. The rush process alone has fees, and girls will be given a list of “suggested attire” for each day. That means shopping, and if your daughter is like mine, it means a lot of shopping! New members’ dues are higher at first to cover things like their initiation, new member activities, the very many t-shirts that they will get (don’t let them bring a lot from home because they will get a t-shirt for almost every activity), etc. If your daughter lives in a house, they can pay about a thousand dollars, to about $1400. You can find the details of each sorority.

Speaking Greek

Let’s address some particulars. Recruitment runs from the start of classes, for about a week. Fall recruitment is a more formal one lasting 5 days.  Spring recruitment is informal and more relaxed, lasting about 2 days. It’s important to note that not all sororities participate in Spring recruitment due to quotas already met. The days are long, especially in the beginning rounds.

As your daughter goes through each round, she will go to fewer sorority houses. She may not get invited back to every house; chances are likely that she will not; however, she will have options that hopefully are the houses she was considering. There are 10 chapters that she will be introduced to. There are a lot of girls, information, and traditions that they will get to know quickly.

The truth is, the rush is based on first impressions, judgments, and appearances. The Panhellenic Council tries very hard to promote the positive aspects of joining a sorority and takes it seriously. Why go through all of this, you ask? We have found that sorority life may not be for everyone, but they do offer a lot of benefits including being visible and active on campus, involvement in philanthropies, high academics (my daughter’s sorority requires study hours), and most importantly; they make the large size of USF seem a little smaller. Sorority life can lead to lifetime friendships and a lot of fun.

Bid day, which is the last day of rush, is very exciting, and a little terrifying, and highly emotional, and is, announced as each girl receives a card with the sorority she was accepted to. They all open them at the same time and then will run to their new houses.

Make sure your daughter has cleaned up their social media. Oh yes, even that will be taken into consideration. I have heard there are committees of sisters who stalk each girl’s accounts to get a glimpse of their activities and character. Misrepresentations on their social media can hurt a girl’s chances for a bid when rushing.

Many parents like to send their daughters a gift on Bid Day. We recommend holding off as they will be getting gifts from the sorority they pledge on Bid Day. They will get things like water bottles, t-shirts (yes, even more), tote bags, and anything else with their new letters on it. Plus, different sororities have different rules about wearing anything with letters. Some don’t let you until you are initiated.  After my daughter was initiated, I did get her a sorority bracelet.

Should you decide to get them a congratulatory gift, we have some suggestions here from:

Desert Cactus Greek, Brit and Bee, Alexandra and Company, Go Greek Chic, Cotton Sisters, Sorority Shop, Signature Tumblers and Gild the Lily.

Lastly, breathe. It’s just yet another first in your child’s growing experience.

Learn more about sorority life.

Below are the dates for Recruitment 2020:

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Going back to 1978 with the release of “Animal House”, which became one of the most successful comedies of all time, to 2014 with the release of “Neighbors”, fraternities have been portrayed as groups of Neanderthals that do nothing but party, drink alcohol and abuse drugs. Fraternities have been called out on national television for purported participation in horrific activities. Certainly, if a fraternity house is engaging in behavior that crosses the line, they should, and will, end up either on suspension or maybe even kicked off-campus. You will find that several colleges across the country have suspended all Greek life due to hazing and the death of several fraternity members. It is horrifying as a parent to lose a child under these circumstances and colleges are taking a strong stance, as they should on rushing and frats. But talk with many of the young men in fraternities at USF, and they will speak of brotherhood, a lifetime of friendships and access to leadership positions on campus. USF has 16 chapters in its Interfraternity Council.

For parents of incoming freshmen, you have probably started to hear about rushing a fraternity. The way rushing is handled for fraternities is radically different than sororities, but I am glad to give you the parent perspective on both (check out our blog on Sororities). Either way, you will not find too many who love the rushing process.  Like it or not, Greek life does have its advantages, especially at a large college; and kids are probably not going to forgo the rumors about rushing if it means not joining.

USF fraternities pride themselves on promoting Scholarship, Brotherhood, and Leadership. Fraternity rush is somewhat disorganized and a bit chaotic. The more official rush is usually the second or third week of school when many of the chapters will host official orientations and open houses at the house or other various locations. It is a 12-day process. At that time, boys go from house to house, where they are greeted by brothers who will “interview” them. They can spend practically a whole evening, if they choose, at one house and never get to others.

You May Leave…

They can get asked to leave (yes, asked to leave, as in, “We don’t think you will fit in here. You can leave now”) regardless of how much time they have invested getting to know some of the other brothers. They do not have to go to each of the 17 chapters; they go to the ones they want to. This can lead to boys putting a great deal of time and energy into specific houses that they may get their hearts set on and may or may not get a bid for. In the end, this could mean not getting a frat at all; particularly if they didn’t make the rounds, per se. Try to encourage your son to broaden his horizons and check out all the frats, not just the ones deemed popular, touting a reputation they would like to be associated with and/or cool Greek letters. He may be pleasantly surprised by some of the smaller houses. Try to stay in touch with your son as his support system; should he need it. The rejection is real.

Most boys do find their fraternity; others may not get accepted to the frat of their choice, but there is a second rushing opportunity in the spring. There are many alternatives to the social life fraternities provide as well. To help smooth out the feelings of rejection, particularly if some of his friends got asked back, remind him of the many other houses or diverse clubs and activities outside of Greek life.

The Village

Fraternity houses at USF are located in what is called Greek Village. There are three frats in the village and the others have “houses” off-campus.  Some are aesthetically nicer than others but do not try to compare any of them to the sorority houses. (Insert image of Animal House here.) Yet, as recruitment begins most boys will already know which frats are considered the most popular and which preconceived labels go with each. That is exactly what can make this a difficult process because just like in the real world, rumors are not fact. If you have any influence at all, encourage your sons to look beyond the Greek letters (all houses have a combination of them) and have an open mind. Hopefully, your son will be able to move beyond the labels and focus more on finding like-minded young men and a place where he will fit in. He may also want to consider the fraternities’ national standing. This can come in rather handy later when looking to network and find a job in the world beyond college even in another city.
Here is a little about how it works.  Let’s say your son gets a bid from the house he wants. A bid is basically an invitation to join their fraternity. They then have three options to either 1.) Accept the bid and rush is over for him or 2.) Sit on the bid, the most common choice during rush week, as it allows him to continue to visit other frats and maybe even collect more bids. In the end, he can only accept one of the bids or 3.) Decline a bid and continue the hunt.  And then the fun really begins; pledging.

New Members

Once a bid has been accepted your student becomes a new member. And, hazing is not accepted at all and most fraternities are under scrutiny across campuses nationwide. What is more likely is that your son will spend the next few weeks doing inane things like writing love letters to the frat sweetheart in alphabet soup letters, washing brother’s cars or doing their dishes, standing outside a sorority house and singing to the girls, writing and performing a short play, playing basketball in a suit and tie, being on call as the sober driver for brothers, and so on.

So far, I haven’t a sugar-coated rush, so I won’t start now. Rush is based on first impressions, judgments, and appearances; certainly, in the first few rounds. This being said, mention to your son to be sure his social media is looking good. Don’t think they won’t check. The Interfraternity Council tries to promote the positive aspects of joining a fraternity and takes it very seriously.  They try to oversee that regulations are upheld, but they can only have eyes in so many places.

At this point, you may be thinking why would I want my son to subject himself to going through this process? Personally speaking, while fraternity life may not be for everyone, they do offer a lot of benefits including being extremely visible and active on campus, involvement in philanthropies and they make the massive size of USF seem a little smaller.  Fraternity brothers partake in rituals that are unique to their letters, nationally and internationally, promoting brotherhood. Frats provide leadership opportunities as they are student-run organizations. Fraternities also teach our young men great interviewing skills as they are often asked off-the-wall questions that promote thinking on their feet. It teaches them a great deal about social interactions and hopefully about being a gentleman as they will always be representing their letters.

If I am speaking Greek, let’s address some of the particulars. Dues range from about $500-$1,500 per semester. Some activities will cost extra; like formals which usually take them out of town and can be as much as $300-$500 for the weekend. All in all, if you (and he) can get through rushing/pledging, brotherhood is a beautiful thing.

Learn the facts about Recruitment.

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USF is huge! With over 37,000 undergraduates across over 1500 acres, it can sometimes be hard to not feel overwhelmed by the size of the school. To make it feel a bit smaller and more personal, one must get involved. Some students will choose to rush a sorority or fraternity (see sorority blog here and fraternity blog here), but others will not find Greek life is their cup of tea. No worries, there are many other possible ways to get involved on campus.

School comes first, obviously, but we at HaveUHeard feel that being involved in some way is equally as important. Remember that your child is still a teenager and will want to find people with the same interests as them. Leaving home, family, and friends can be hard, but feeling a part of a community can make their transition easier. Joining clubs and organizations allows students to discover their passions and strengths, and to make connections for future resumes and employment. Being involved requires time management. For some, staying busy is better than having too much free time. That being said, one must look at their schedule realistically and decide what benefits them in all areas.

Now that we’ve established the benefits of being involved in something other than a happy hour; the question is where he/she finds the right club or organization. Firstly, encourage your child to not settle for the first club they visit. Attend informational meetings or a session or two. They may fall in love or feel the need to keep looking. Go with an open mind and try everything once. My daughter saw an ad for Her Campus and went to a meeting. This online blog for USF women helped her to meet like-minded girls. One of her friends even started writing for the blog.

Here are just a few places where clubs and organizations are located:

• Marshall Student Center (MSC) – Inside the center, you can find the Student Life Tower which houses most of the offices of organizations.
• New Student Connections (NSC) – This office coordinates WOW: Week of Welcome, and the First Fifty Days which hold events and activities for new students.  There is everything from photo ops, mixers, involvement with the Round-Up, Homecoming, Family Weekend, and Movies on the Lawn.
• Student Government is an entity of itself.  Look into it if you want to be a leader at USF.
• The Center for Student Development – They hold educational, social, and cultural events including concerts, and Patio Tuesday, which provide great opportunities to connect with friends.
• Student Organizations – There are over 600 clubs/organizations that include Greek, academic, religious, service, special interest, recreation, and multicultural interests.
• Leadership and Civic Engagement – This office helps coordinate Bulls Service Breaks (trips of service during Spring Break week) and the Dance Marathon which raises money for the Children’s Miracle Network.
• The Oracle – This is a USF student-run newspaper that can be found on campus and around the USF area.
• Intramurals – There are 30 different sports and activities to join, from flag-football, ultimate Frisbee, table tennis, and more.
• Sports Clubs – There are over 40 sports clubs including the traditional sports, but also beach volleyball, cricket, equestrian, fishing, paintball, SCUBA, and even Quidditch.
• Religious Groups – USF has 13 different groups including campus ministries and Chabad and Hillel.

For more information and details. So, encourage your student to get involved in something. They need to “find their tribe” and to find their place at USF.

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